Fashion Fascists
All this uproar roused me from my August heat-induced delirium. I woke up screaming, “I must be the only one who has not yet written about sagging britches. I need to get in my 2 cents worth before this issue bottoms out.”
My wife elbowed me and told me to roll over and go back to sleep. So I did and I was soon dreaming of that day back in 1964 after the Ed Sullivan Show when I, just like thousands of other teenagers, skipped my fortnightly hair cut and quit combing my hair. Why, because we witnessed the girls screaming and swooning when the Beatles shook their hair. Soon adults everywhere were warning of the downfall of Western civilization if young males continued to not cut their hair.
Isn’t it odd how rednecks of the 60’s had long hair and college kids had the long hair. Now, the rednecks have the long hair and mullets, and the college kids have the short hair.
That wasn’t the only time in my life when fashion threatened to undermine society. I t also happened also when my older brothers began imitating Elvis and when my sister began wearing a miniskirt. My future wife, without regard for the good name of her father, the Judge, and the shame she was about to bring down on her family, wore a bikini to the beach. Of course hip huggers and the micro mini sent the fashion fascists into St Helen’s like eruption.
It wasn’t just fashion though, it was also music and dance - Elvis’s wriggling hips and Chubby Checker’s oh so nasty Twist. Preachers and moralists in the Bible Belt smashed rock and roll 45’s and later Beatle’s LP’s when John Lennon claimed the Beatles were more popular than Jesus.
Just how low will pants have to be to be considered sagging? Whenever dictators of dress and decorum speak, a standard must be set. In the 60’s it was skirts no more than 2 inches above the knee, then 3, then 4. The girls just kept rolling them up. Hair couldn’t touch the ears or the collar. Heck, I saw a photo of Angela Davis and went out and got a perm. Perfect, my hair was above the collar and didn’t cover the ear.
Why are just concerned about male fashions here? Maybe it’s just my pet peeve, but I found it quit distracting watching a female singer constantly tugging at her top in an effort to avoid joining wardrobe malfunction hall of fame. It seems there is quite a double standard going on here. I have yet to hear any outrage over today’s female fondness to expose their cleavage and undergarments both top and bottom. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” as Jerry Seinfeld would say.
It’s been fifty years since Elvis arrived and 40 years since the Beatles and all of those things that heralded the end of humanity on Earth, and you know what, we are still here.
My wife elbowed me and told me to roll over and go back to sleep. So I did and I was soon dreaming of that day back in 1964 after the Ed Sullivan Show when I, just like thousands of other teenagers, skipped my fortnightly hair cut and quit combing my hair. Why, because we witnessed the girls screaming and swooning when the Beatles shook their hair. Soon adults everywhere were warning of the downfall of Western civilization if young males continued to not cut their hair.
Isn’t it odd how rednecks of the 60’s had long hair and college kids had the long hair. Now, the rednecks have the long hair and mullets, and the college kids have the short hair.
That wasn’t the only time in my life when fashion threatened to undermine society. I t also happened also when my older brothers began imitating Elvis and when my sister began wearing a miniskirt. My future wife, without regard for the good name of her father, the Judge, and the shame she was about to bring down on her family, wore a bikini to the beach. Of course hip huggers and the micro mini sent the fashion fascists into St Helen’s like eruption.
It wasn’t just fashion though, it was also music and dance - Elvis’s wriggling hips and Chubby Checker’s oh so nasty Twist. Preachers and moralists in the Bible Belt smashed rock and roll 45’s and later Beatle’s LP’s when John Lennon claimed the Beatles were more popular than Jesus.
Just how low will pants have to be to be considered sagging? Whenever dictators of dress and decorum speak, a standard must be set. In the 60’s it was skirts no more than 2 inches above the knee, then 3, then 4. The girls just kept rolling them up. Hair couldn’t touch the ears or the collar. Heck, I saw a photo of Angela Davis and went out and got a perm. Perfect, my hair was above the collar and didn’t cover the ear.
Why are just concerned about male fashions here? Maybe it’s just my pet peeve, but I found it quit distracting watching a female singer constantly tugging at her top in an effort to avoid joining wardrobe malfunction hall of fame. It seems there is quite a double standard going on here. I have yet to hear any outrage over today’s female fondness to expose their cleavage and undergarments both top and bottom. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” as Jerry Seinfeld would say.
It’s been fifty years since Elvis arrived and 40 years since the Beatles and all of those things that heralded the end of humanity on Earth, and you know what, we are still here.
posted by Jack McLeod at 9:04 AM
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